Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry WeezyEsophagus hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I like taco bell too

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(420): View more from

So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

(303): View more from Colorado

Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"

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(720): View more from Colorado

He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger

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