the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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