So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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