where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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