the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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