his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
