im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
