Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize