never play flip cup with pint glasses
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
