Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
