Buhtt sex?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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