We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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