We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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