I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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