Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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