I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We need to rekindle our bromance
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
