i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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