How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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