dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
