woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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