that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
