I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
