bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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