hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
