I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
