I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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