Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize