I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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