the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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