so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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