why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
