1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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