She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Can you repeat that, but with context?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize