Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
