I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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