your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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