Duck Duck Cougar?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
