Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
