Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
