Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm at about main and main street
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
