Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
