His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
