Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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