I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
