you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Couch. On fire.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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