He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
