Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
