For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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