I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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