do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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