Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
