actually, I'm a sock model
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize