youre lurking in front of me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
