Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
