my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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