I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
