Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
