Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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