ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
