Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All the doctor said was why
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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