you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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