I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
