my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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