With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
