he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
