just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
