I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
