Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
